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Every film we watch reviewed in 255 characters… or fewer!

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Nocturnal Animals (2016, dir. Tom Ford)

Meandering film about dull people living out their lives, regretting choices made and going nowhere. Meanwhile, a more violent story is told of a roadside encounter gone bad. The parallels between the two stories are flimsy and this has no direction. 😦

Author lemonsquirtlePosted on February 3, 2017February 15, 2017Categories Crap1 Comment on Nocturnal Animals (2016, dir. Tom Ford)

The Arrival (2016, dir. Denis Villeneuve)

arrival_review_header

Thought provoking sci-fi that is more about the characters than the aliens. Languidly told and carefully shot, the quest to understand why they are here is ultimately surprising and rewarding. Great performances and the emotional climax hits hard. 😀

Author lemonsquirtlePosted on February 3, 2017February 15, 2017Categories Sci-Fi3 Comments on The Arrival (2016, dir. Denis Villeneuve)

Don’t Beathe

dont-breathe

Blind army veteran violently takes on trio of inept burglars during robbery. Grim and gritty, with genuine slots of tension and plot twists. Annoying plot contrivances and gradual slip to familiar unstoppable killer tropes hold it back. Watchable 😐

Author xussiaPosted on February 3, 2017February 9, 2017Categories Horror1 Comment on Don’t Beathe

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016, dir. André Øvredal)

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Young woman’s corpse found buried at a multiple homicide leads to Brian Cox and his son staying late to perform her autopsy. They wish they’d gone for a beer instead. From the director of Trollhunter; not as good, but still worth a watch. 🙂

Author lemonsquirtlePosted on February 2, 2017February 15, 2017Categories Horror2 Comments on The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016, dir. André Øvredal)

Twilight

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The Twilight saga, the story of a young girl/woman indecision of sexual preference, her choice to practise with both bestiality or necrophilia, during this time others become jealous and wish to join in with the fun.   #younggirlcantmakemindup

Author AdamtellyPosted on February 2, 2017February 12, 2017Categories Crap, HorrorLeave a comment on Twilight

The Fast and the Furious

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Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and crew driving modded cars looking for a plot. Thinly woven intrigue mixed with loud races and women in hot pants! Leave brain in first, put brakes on reasoning and wheel spin your neurons! Stupid fun 🙂

Author xussiaPosted on February 2, 2017February 9, 2017Categories Action, CrapLeave a comment on The Fast and the Furious

Doctor Strange (2016, dir. Scott Derrickson)

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Whilst this Marvel mindbender tries to be strange, it’s not. Not really. Typical Marvel end of the world affair with contrived Deus Ex Machina plot shenanigans to make sure no one knows what’s going on. It’s alright, but little more. :/

Author lemonsquirtlePosted on February 2, 2017February 15, 2017Categories Sci-Fi1 Comment on Doctor Strange (2016, dir. Scott Derrickson)

Inferno (2016, dir. Ron Howard)

inferno-motion-poster

Tom Hanks once again reprises the role of Robert Langdon, and for the life of me I can’t understand why. Nonsensical plot, stupid characters, ridiculous set up. There’s talent here, but I think everyone saw this as a cash grab and they went from there. 😦

Author lemonsquirtlePosted on February 2, 2017February 15, 2017Categories Crap, ThrillerLeave a comment on Inferno (2016, dir. Ron Howard)

The Wailing

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South Korean horror flick. Suffers from drawn out plot, comedic touches that don’t fit and for no reason. Also running time feels endless. Interesting ideas and occasional scares but ultimately 2.5 hours you wont get back. 😐

Author xussiaPosted on February 2, 2017February 9, 2017Categories Crap, HorrorLeave a comment on The Wailing

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